✪ Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children pdf ✩ Author Thomas Gordon – Furosemidelasix.info

Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children This book has one very important idea that really works Once you get the concept, it seems like the author drones on and on about it TLDR this could be a three chapter book I highly recommend reading the first couple of chapters and skimming until you find parts you want to read The examples throughout are very worthy.The P.E.T technique has really revolutionized the relationship between me and my child Warning, the intro makes it sound like this book promote permissive parenting Don t be put off by that ESSENTIAL reading if you find yourself nagging your children often. Although this is a book about parenting, I recommend it to you if you re interested in improving your relationships with everyone The premise of the book is that some parents use their power to control their children, while other parents, in order to be liked by their kids or to keep the peace, allow their children to do whatever they want at the expense of their own needs The author details these scenarios and then offers a third possibility, one in which situations are resolved in ways that meet the needs of all He encourages cooperation in finding these solutions I believe that the meat and potatoes of this method are really to be found in the PET workshops that are given from time to time You can do a search and find out when and where they will be held, and you can get on their mailing list to get newsletters I am on that, and I can tell you that they don t flood my mailbox I d love to go to a workshop, but for the time being, I have gotten sufficient guidance from this book to improve my relationships with my children I have two kids under the age of three, so I m happy to have read PET while they re so little It seems like it would be hard to incorporate this parenting style once a power struggle is deeply entrenched, although I believe it is worth it to try if you re in that boat The author addresses that at length I notice that the technique of Active Listening has been effective with my son when he s upset The author believes that children are not given nearly enough opportunities to be responsible I have to say that, as a parent, I am nervous about trusting my kids in the way he asks me to, and I m sure that that s because I am enculturated to feel this way It s going to take a major shift in my thinking, but because I want the best for my children, I am going to give the PET approach a chance, in baby steps. Absolutely the best parenting book I ve read It s already had the biggest impact on our lives of any parenting book I ve read And it seems to be the book that all my favorites were based on Are you a fan of Playful Parenting, Unconditional Parenting, Siblings Without Rivalry, or Raising our Children Raising Ourselves You ll love this book Actually if you want to learn specific techniques for parenting and are open to why the traditional model isn t working, you ll love this book Actually even if you re not You may love this book I ve read a lot of parenting books This is hands down the best I have direction and security in my parenting than ever Please read it It might save your family s lives I mean ask yourself this do you want growing resentment to build between you and your child until they check out from you as teens and can t wait to get away and disregard everything you ve said as adults Or do you want a close, meaningful relationship with them where your guidance continues to be of value to them into adulthood Do you want anger, hostility, threats, guilt, fear, rebellion to be the big players in your household Or do you want to be able to express your limits calmly and have them be heard and your child actually care about how you re impacted and modify their own behavior because they care Read this book I think my family is finally on the road to happier interactions, loving connection, and mutual respect Why did I wait so long to read this I m for sure going to read it again ASAP I really want its lessons to stick.I want to note that this book is best read before the teen years, actually the earlier the better, and it might be able to help in the teen years too Many mistakenly believe that the material is only useful with teens because of developed reasoning skills Actually even small children have of this ability than we give them credit for And teens may be too far gone with your existing methods to accept that things could be different It s worth a shot with teens, certainly, but please don t intentionally put off reading this till then because you think your kid won t be able to get it all I have mixed feelings thinking about how long this book has been around I wish I d read it before my kids left infancy for one But I mean, it s been 40 years How has the world ignored it this long Gosh we could have had a couple of generations of amazing people come out of this by now Not to mention what impact it could have had on my upbringing Gah If only my parents had read it Finished March 18 2013, starting again in May 3013. I m not sure about this one I think the main methods outlined Active Listening, using I messages,and finding solutions together with your children instead of imposing them from above, are good in theory, and I ve been using all three However, the author never really addresses the two issues I grapple with most often 1 the moment by moment corrections of things that aren t a huge deal,but are important please don t drag that furniture across the floor, could you do that in the potty instead, etc and 2 how to apply these consistently with a toddler Sure, I messages are all well and good, but my two year old doesn t care that it makes me feel frustrated when he smears his sticky hands on my clothes or that it makes his sister cry when he throws his truck at her I do think that it makes our 6 year old feel empowered and likely to stick with a solution when she helped to find it The toddler may have to grow into that. Cartea a reusit sa depaseasca toate limitele tolerantei mele Da, inca o carte care m a scos din sarite, de data aceasta insa, de pe un alt palier.1 Autorul prezinta toate banalitatile pe care le stie oricine in straie atat de colorate, incat ai putea crede ca el a inventat pana si regula de a stinge becul inainte de culcare Da, domnule Gordon, stim ca un copil are nevoie si de jucarii pentru a se juca Daca vrea sa se joace cu o revista pe care vrei sa o pastrezi, da i una pe care nu vrei sa o pastrezi Serios 2 Ascultarea activa este o solutie grozava pentru oligofreni Copilul Tati, ma doare capul Tata Crezi ca te doare capul Copilul Da, asa este Tata Crezi ca asa este Cum sa iti tratezi asa copilul si cum sa te tratezi asa pe tine Nu m ar mira daca la un moment dat copilul iti arunca cu ceva in cap pentru ca repeti ca un papagal dupa el Nu stiu ce inteligenta ar trebui sa aibe copilul ca sa reactioneze pozitiv la un astfel de tratament 3 Individul ia in considerare exclusiv familia americana de astazi Amimpresia ca tocmai am asistat la o coferinta tinuta la McDonald s Nu are prea mult de a face cu familia mea mai putin in privinta banalitatilor de mai sus.4 Cand iti e lumea mai draga te ataca din toate partile zgomotulasurzitor al slujbei de duminica Tipul a fost cu siguranta cevaevanghelist, martor de al lui Iehova etc Nu am nimic cu libertateareligioasa, dar, daca tot imi iau masa la McDonald s nu mai am chef si de predici.5 Gordon nu crede in ceretari Nu isi sustine astfel, metodele E doar o lunga vorbarie goala Adica, daca da un exemplu de un copil care si a rezolvat problemele, e clar ca aceste probleme au fost rezolvate datorita teoriilor lui Pai, bine mai tata, dar un argument, o dovada, o ceva acolo, cat de mic, ca teoria matale a fost aplicata, nu ne dai si noua 6 Programul se numeste P.E.T Hmmmm Si zici ca e o diferenta intreeducatie si dresaj Cu alte cuvinte iti place ca pisica si catelul sa stea cuminti jos, nu pe canapea, si sa faca la litiera frumos, cand trebuie Ei bine, ai in fata cartea care te invata cum sa ti faci copilul sa fie ca un amabil, dragut si colaborant animal de companie Maxim Ce parinte intreg la cap nu si a dorit vreodata ca progenitura sa atinga nivelul de pisica molateca care asculta tot ce i spui, nu 7 Cele cateva observatii destepte despre educatia prin pedepse sirecompense nu mai au nici o valoare atunci cand incepe ploaia de discutii intre parinti si copii cu IQ uri intre 15 si 45.8 Attachment Parentingul este, cu siguranta, cea mai lejera, mai laindemnana forma de parenting Cere cele mai putine eforturi si pare ceamai naturala Pana acum am fost intru totul de acord cu ea Acum, dupa ce ii vad propovaduitorii, nu mai sunt la fel de sigur Pare ca toti cei care scriu AP si au pierdut demult discernamantul si orice urma de gandire critica.Mai, Thomas Gordon a avut un succes nebun cu teoriile lui, care mie imi par cel putin dubioase, in SUA Fapt care nu ma mira pentru ca tot americanii cred si in ineptiile sustinute de scientologie, deci, totul se leaga Americanii se tot plang ca au copii narozi, ca sistemul de invatamant si educatie nu functioneaza, ca viitorul lor arata gri spre negru si ca sunt nevoiti sa si caute specialisti in afara granitelor lor Pai, fratilor, daca sistemul lui Gordon vi se pare suficient de rational incat sa l bagati in scoli si sa l transformati intr un program la nivel national, va mai mira ca plozii vostrii sunt praf si ca nu sunt in stare sa faca nimic de unii singuri Asta este stadiul pe care o maimuta dresata il poate atinge, dragilor Cativa ani de repetitie constanta a ceea ce spune el, nu duc deloc la dezvoltarea unui simt critic si constructiv, ba dimpotriva Fara o discutie activa in care sa l faci pe copil sa si puna intrebari, sa l confrunti cu dilemele din viata sa facand apel la intelepciunea ta de om matur intelepciune pe care americanii se pare ca tin la naftalina, daca apeleaza la trucuri precum cele de mai sus , atunci la ce poti sa te astepti de la copilul tau P.E.T de Thomas Gordon este cartea ideala daca vrei sa ti transformi copilul intr un animal de casa E primul pas inainte de a cumpara o lesa, zgarda si litiera. Read this book many years ago and was thinking of it today One of the best books I have ever read and as another reviewer said it is life changing This book is not really just for parenting, it is for anyone who interacts with other human beings on a regular basis and wants to improve communication in their relationships I was deeply saddened when Dr Gordon passed away Now here s someone that really deserved a nobel peace prize Dr Thomas Gordon March 11, 1918 August 26, 2002 was an American clinical psychologist and colleague of Carl Rogers He is widely recognized as a pioneer in teaching communication skills and conflict resolution methods to parents, teachers, leaders, women, youth and salespeople The model he developed came to known as the Gordon Model or the Gordon Method, a complete and integrated system for building and maintaining effective relationships.Gordon strongly believed that the use of coercive power damages relationships As an alternative, he taught people skills for communicating and resolving conflicts that they can use to establish or improve good relationships at home, school and at work These skills, which include active listening, I messages and No Lose Conflict Resolution, are now widely known and used by people around the world.In recognition of his contributions to the betterment of humanity, Dr Gordon was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1997, 1998 and 1999 In addition, both the American Psychological Foundation and the California Psychological Association presented him with lifetime achievement awards Gordon Training International in Solana Beach, California, the company he founded in 1974, continues his work from Wiki I had touted Love and Logic parenting for a long time but then I realized I couldn t implement it effectively, lovingly and in a way where I felt I was being respectful of my children as individuals I always felt like I was manipulating circumstances and making up natural consequences to make a point I also didn t like it when they were old enough to turn it around on me or attempt it incorrectly on each other e.g., Hey, sis, do you want to play with me or do you want me to throw my shoe at you I am deeply grateful, however, for all LL taught me about discipline, boundaries and the importance of cultivating responsibility in kids.Now about THIS book I Love It I can communicate honestly with my children, I am called to respect their needs and feelings, and am charged with making sure my own needs are addressed as well The communication strategies are essentially the Golden Rule, and if my children model my ideal behavior speaking in I statements, trying to achieve a win win when there is conflict, listening effectively , we will all be the better for it I am allowed to be frustrated and express that appropriately I am not a referee when the kids have a problem recently, after implementing PET, I have watched fascinated as they solved a problem on their own after all I said was simply, Just talk to each other and work it out, please Whether or not you struggle with your temper or your kids behaving appropriately, this is a wonderful book on communication that will help you in your relationship with your children, and adults as well. I found active listening, I messages, and no lose conflict resolution to be very useful concepts and I think I ll get a lot from this book on that front, but I felt like the book itself was about twice or as long as it needed to be, very repetitive, and veryI don t know, borderline infomercialish in terms of the way Gordon promoted his perspective So it was a bit of a slog on that level And all of the proclamation about the tendencies today s youths just made me roll my eyes, because it s the kind of overgeneralized writing I see a lot of in the freshman level college writing class I teach my students learn to write better by the end of the class This book is very helpful not only for parenting and child rearing, but also for improving interpersonal relations in general Engaging in active listening, avoiding blaming others with you messages and focusing on I messages, and participating in no lose conflict resolution will make one a happier and cooperative individual The techniques illustrated in P.E.T helped me become a better person after I first read the book when I was in my twenties. PET Or Parent Effectiveness Training, Began Almost Forty Years Ago As The First National Parent Training Program To Teach Parents How To Communicate Effectively With Kids And Offer Step By Step Advice To Resolving Family Conflicts So Everybody Wins This Beloved Classic Is The Most Studied, Highly Praised, And Proven Parenting Program In The World And It Will Work For You Now Revised For The First Time Since Its Initial Publication, This Groundbreaking Guide Will Show You How To Avoid Being A Permissive ParentHow To Listen So Kids Will Talk To You And Talk So Kids Will Listen To You How To Teach Your Children To Own Their Problems And To Solve ThemHow To Use The No Lose Method To Resolve ConflictsUsing The Timeless Methods Of PET Will Have Immediate Results Less Fighting, Fewer Tantrums And Lies, No Need For Punishment Whether You Have A Toddler Striking Out For Independence Or A Teenager Who Has Already Started Rebelling, You Ll Find PET A Compassionate, Effective Way To Instill Responsibility And Create A Nurturing Family Environment In Which Your Child Will Thrive


About the Author: Thomas Gordon

Thomas Gordon was an American clinical psychologist, student and later colleague of Carl Rogers He was mainly known for his Gordon Method, primarily a method to improve relationships between parents and children that was later developed into a general communication method to improve all relationships.Dr Gordon spent than 50 years teaching parents, teachers and leaders the model he developed


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